Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
