feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
