I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
