i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize