I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
