Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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