You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
