She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
