i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
