Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize