No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
