I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
