She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
