John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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