Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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