Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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