wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
