How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
