Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
