you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
