But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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