i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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