I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
