with your own penis?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
