Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
