I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
