HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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