This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
