people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
