I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
