sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
