i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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