Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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