There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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