He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
