ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
