I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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