Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
