we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
