I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
