Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
