Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
