I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
