I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
