I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
