No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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