So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
