wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
