u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
