Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
