would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
