I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
