I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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