I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
