your parents love me but you hate me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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