I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
