All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
