We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
