Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm too high and old for this...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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