Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
